A phone in a drawer

So you’ve taken the pledge…yay!

Now what?

It may be easier, in a way, to do the first two action items, (delaying the purchase of a smart-phone for your child and keeping devices out of their rooms at night) than it is to do the third, ‘modeling’ the behavior we want to see by putting our own phones away for at least 30 minutes a day. The first two tasks are clear, one-time decisions. The third involves an interrogation of our own habits, which are pervasive and involve many choices, all day long. We are no doubt motivated to be less attached to technology but can struggle to see how to make a meaningful change.

I thought 30 minutes a day seemed like a nice place to start. But I’m wondering, have you tried this yet? I have to admit, I have not. Instead, I tend to keep mine on silent and attempt to not check it, but since I started this campaign, and have been made more aware of my habits, I’ve begun to realize I’m not doing as good of a job at being ‘unplugged’ as I’d like, especially in the afternoon and evening hours when I’m with the kids.

I’ve decided that to accomplish this task, I need to to set myself up for success and create an infrastructure for change. I’ll need to tell my husband, mother and sister (the only people who call me regularly) that I will not be available between 6-6:30pm. Having a set time will help, so I don’t have to update everyone daily, and so it becomes routine. I’ll need an alarm as a reminder, until it’s second nature. Lastly, I’ll need to put it away, as it’s too tempting when it’s in my line of sight, so I’m going to use a drawer. My promise to you is that I will start tonight, 10 9/23. I know it will be meaningful. Just like anything I recommend to my clients but don’t do myself, once I start walking the walk I think, ‘why didn’t I listen to my own advice sooner?’

Anna Lembke, M.D, and author of Dopamine Nation, (HIGHLY recommend) says, “Doing things that are hard is one of the best ways to pursue a life worth living, because the pleasure we get afterwards is more enduring.” We tend to forget that earned highs are that much sweeter.

If the idea of having no phone access during the (sometimes) boring moments of the day sounds cruel, just opening yourself up to the realization that you shouldn’t expect to be connected and entertained 24/7 is a meaningful shift in thinking. Let’s let our minds wander, uninterrupted, with increased frequency, or let’s give our children our full attention as they tell meandering, fantastical stories without glancing at whatever just happened in the news. We can do it. It all starts with a phone in a drawer.

Please let me know how you achieved this, or what else you’ve tried!